i thought i have aready gather all my courage but when i saw them all of that is gone
Now i know how hard it is to push people away sad being hurt or ? I dont know i was just wanting to do this but just one thing from them i cant all this is no use for me maybe i should just remain like how i was in pri sch... Just let it be and then all of that is ruin... Please dont try to ask anymore about this... someday you will understand

♥ 8:30 AM

finally got myself into think that na and express could be like so call friends but haha... They proved me wrong wow! Haha... And yeah now i know it le and i know what to do yeah stop bothering you yeah. Just recently finally accecpted the express but yeah now maybe this is so called got rejected? Hahas...
Hey you guys know this felt like when i was in primary school ha.. For no reason me and my bestfriend whom i knew for 6 years just changed totally...in the end yeah until now we dont know why just hated each other...
Maybe this is gonna happen to me in this school too hahas
Should never start this so maybe i should end it just here
Now got a feeling of cold shoulder
After this i wonder who can i still call out to...
Hoping just to have have another friend ok just for 6 years
Sometimes i really hope i have a group of friends i could relay on but im not close with my friends...
If choice is given to me to chose band and class friends i would chose band...
Cause all my family and friends were in there
All...band is my family ...
Not easy to forget....

♥ 5:21 AM

dont you all have any issue of whats going on?
Quit is all you could think why wouldn't say there is a problem so let face it together
i know you're stressed but why cant to guys think shouldnt i be stressed too? But why wouldnt you guys just let it pass let it go and forget it theres no use putting your feelings in it and if you really think i dont know you fine i really dont know you are thinking and you dont know me too whats the use anyway
That's how you treat your friends maybe we shouldnt change even ok never mind there's no use saying all this.. Crap
All you guy do is to when problems arise you all just walk away leaving me there yeah...somtimes i really hope you guys would stand together...
Now all i could say is not possible

♥ 4:51 AM

Yanshan.i know what your saying but...
You dont know until you really felt it
Until you really lost hope in it
And you know that there's no use...
No use in believing
i've been wondering...
What's is trust?
Whats's is friend?
What's makes you believe?
What is it for you to believe!
Why do you give chances?
What's the use of giving chances?
What's the use of escaping the truth?
Firstly first,
Who can you trust the person you trust hurts you the most.
Friend.what can friend do say those things that will made you worst and even made you ---.
Believe. What's there to believe its all gone
And to me no nothing to believe...
Chances.if the person is escaping even you gave them hundreds all this will still be same.
Escaping the truth.only to cheat us into thinking that its not your fault yeah your hurt that we said that ha! Stop faking !no one wants to be quit because of you? NO ALL OF US WANTS !!!

♥ 6:16 AM

i've been wondering...
What's trust?
Whats's friend?
What's real?
What's the use of escaping to cheat us into thinking that oh... That's not your fault yeah right

♥ 6:16 AM

and one thing you can be happy and laugh with them but never give them your trust theres no one in the world could earn that not even myself...
I finally know that theres no one in the can be trusted not even myself...

♥ 3:03 AM

knowing that people hate you why wont you try to just change YOURSELF AND NOT JUST BY SAyING WHATeVER SHIT DONT YOU GUYS GET IT?! You all just wan to get yourself out of this stupid thing you just say craps like i never say i never say ! But in the end you did say!! You are just try to escape from it !YOU ARE A COWARD!!! A STUPiD IDOITIC COwARD you are not fit to do anything! You dont even try!! You just feel its not my why i do yeah i reminded you more than three times and in the end you did nothing yeah right im so damn pissed off by this stupid girl yeah me right idoitic dont you get it you suck so damn SUCK!! I dont care what you do but you never TRY!!!you say you are hurt we wan to quit because of you cause you dont even wan to know why and we did this because you are not FIT and why the sec 4 chose YOU in which way are you fit to be!!NOTHING!! NOT EVEN ONE!! One of those days if all sec4s are i here i would surely talk to them BM doesn't talk bad things at people back but to ASK them! Whats wrong and cHANGE!! I was just about to accecpt this and this idoit guy just brusted out for more stupid things! Seriously i hate all this and i hate this band whats wrong with you guys!! Cant you all chose people correctly you do things like oh.. This person is more closer to me yeah so i chose to me ha! what's this!
I dont even you guys are fit being called ------
You all just come here play ball slack and then scold us for not doing doing right things and become more lousy then cant you guys just help help us its not justby showing its by doing! Peopreally hope all of you wont come back to this school and dont ever need to see you guys.
Totally lost of hope...

♥ 2:44 AM

i felt like im really stupid she didnt do anything wrong to me right why am i treating her like that and why do i dislike her ! Thinking of it i dont even have a stupid reason to say that i hate her or dislike her i ask them about that but why didnt i ask myself all this stupid is my idea my thinking i lead them to thinking into this and maybe even caused them to dislike her its all my fault i sincerely apologise and i would try to accept it since last time you scolded me i then realise what the hack am i doing i ruining this band and im ruining myself!! Maybe i should just yeah... Let it be im not any better than her maybe she has the potential and just because of my stupidity causing all this to happen yeah sorry
and hey you guys are good friend from the start and what causes you guys to break maybe if we talk to her about her bad points and give her the chance to change maybe we all can bond much better yeah than now...

♥ 8:39 AM

I'm totally lost now with lost of confidence not sure able to complete his tasks but i will try hm... Whatever wan bathe le bye-.-

♥ 5:04 AM

its just the first day so many thongs and problems for me to face urgh...
Well as i have decided we went throught so many problems but now we are still in band and have u ever think if u quited what would u do i wont say i dont know. Now that i know all i could say is no matter what happens i wouldn't quit band i will help to solve any problem come i dont care who and im or what i do i would just do anything for the band even if i cause me to back sacked.. I dont care its just that band had given me so many friend and in my sec one memory all i could remember is band theres only band in my mind so what i can i do and if you ask me if i hate u i would say i hate u i dont care if you like me or not i dont care as long as you are loyal to the band and not like me quit as you like band is not the place you wan join you can join and you wan go you can go who do you think you are ! You think u quited you will feel happy to me no! Most of the people in band are from different grade so that means if you guys quit we wont meet le and that's the end for us yeah so... I really hope we can solve this together and remain in band till we graduate yeah.. That would be the best hope after one month all this would turn up perfect..
Just one month all will be uncovered...

♥ 3:52 AM

hahas... tmr is monday.... Dont know if i should be happy or .... Yeah... Well i guess you guys are really for tmr but im not sure haha....
And to that person i didnt say those words only to you but for the band im telling u that hope u could change people for the better and for the band... I know you're upset but what is done is done so yeah hope u will come band more often to see haha just seen meiling's blog well yeah to another person dont think that what you do is really and waste other's people hardwork if you think you can give other people more chance haha you suck totally dont even think you are older or whatever do you know that some of us even cried just for u? Dont you even thought about other people's feeling before you do anything!? You just say what you think and just crap it out ha!

♥ 1:27 AM

.I really dont know what to say
I had climbed so high for that person but just in a few days he just pushed me to the ground like its easy to stand up again
Its really stupid for all of u to be so idoit
Some of u even think this person is ok to be theres not only one since they say give one month starting from monday we will see what and how they can do to change the band and even make it beter or even worster
ok since we said it we will not say anything about it until One month is up
Haha... Most of us are REALLY looking forward to monday
Just one month...

♥ 8:50 AM