Haix... sometimes u dont even know why you are sad...
Recently become quite emo. Dont feel like talking to friends .
Everyday came home early for nothing .Could actually stay at sch with friends..
But everyday needed a period of slience and cooling not sure cooling what.
Suck sia. dont even know what im sad about... but really hope that when shizhe leaves chs can be there.But cant.. they got their exams...
Somehow i feel heavy...
Sometimes we can actually feel our heart sinking.
Its like your heart is getting heavier and heavier till your stomach feel hurts and your tears are falling. Is that the pain that i always felt?
Now of days everyday just feel like crying out. But crying out is the worst thing.
People wont know it and their mood would be ruined too.
Knowing that they wont read this so i can type out.
Im tired. missing so many people and not wanting something to happen .
What does god mean its time for my heals to wound i cant!
Each and everyday my wound is being torn. Bigger and bigger.
Soon there will be no way for it to heal .And everything is going as plan?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN! wanting him to leave? NO!
Argh~~~. i cant take it!! i cant say it out infront of anybody!
felt like using the method i always used... a pen knife.Lots of ppl said that's stupid.
But sometimes when your heart hurts more than the pain. it will feel good.
It will make you feel much better...

♥ 7:21 AM

what happened to me?
Everytime i came back right after sch .last time if not 6 i wouldnt go home....
And everytime the phone ring i would imagine it was a call from u guys but i know it cant be larh calling from there to here would be really expensive... But i still feel really sad.
Why do i miss u guys so much?

♥ 10:58 PM

Woohooo today my tone improved but my ryhdum deprove le...
Walau its like i practice i deprove i never practice i improve so is should i practice or not?.
Everytime i practiced my ryhdun and all sucks.
And when i never practice ,my rydhum and all improve
wth... nice logic eh...
Bored sia so many homework...
We sch time sure got alots of homework one.
Shit my maths gonna start on a new topic le...
If i cant catch up all my studies hardwork would be ruined!!!
NO!! but my teacher dun wan chiong for me lehs... -.-
Die le lor... haix.... no hope le... Still got test during the camp sia...
still thinking how to self study -.- must bring all my books to school and put at band room.
If never bring one all die le.
no more overall percentage.
No hope in express... haix...
sian sia...but not sure going anot lehs...
If can larh...Now all is about studies and band ...
Feel like quiting my job sia.. but... dont dare...
Now im working only saturday. sunday cant must study...

♥ 4:24 AM

ahh!!! today my tone sucks like hell!
How? my horn now still heaven season argh.
just now playing echo then mr lim hear my tone he give a face.
Ahhh!!! NOO!!! my tone!!! faster season!!! i cant forsake my tone .
Come back!!! everyday must chiong horn lerh argh!!!
Irritating sia... haix
Walau today a bitchy guy come zzz.-.-
always abusing his authority .
zzz... its better if he dont come and he doesnt know that almost all the sec2s dont like him ha!.
Still thinking he is so big.
Even our playing he also wan bother.
-.-

♥ 4:53 AM

oh since sibf is coming lets plan for my next schedule
1) Get all my study right
2) Get all the scores ryhdum right
3) Season my horn
4) Practice long notes
5) Get the right tone
6) Improve my embroucer
7) Practice with the recording
8) plan for the sectional schedule
schedule will post neext time

Hope all this works well bah...haix

♥ 2:46 AM

im changing am i? I cant control myself .
Just when people knows me too well i can take it or go any further with them.
And now preventing all that im staying away from people asking them not to know me too much. Why do people like me? When people tells me they like me i cant do anything but to avoid and escape... I wanted to face it but what should it do ? I cant say it to them. I really hope no one will know me too well .
I cant remaine then same . When u understand me i will somehow suddenly just let you know that im walking away . I dont wish to ------. I just suddenly turned cold like i did to one of you... Im sorry i cant control myself . Everytime seeing you look at me makes me think that i should look back. I hate it . I know u felt sad but i didnt care! I dont know just suddenly i have no feelings!? What the heck am i thinking?! I really hope we could stay as it is now and not go closer by day...
I cant change i know if i change it would be worst... I cant imagine...

♥ 6:18 PM

Suddenly feel that my life is only filled with result and repaying.
Having good result and good work is a repaying to what i owe my parents .
Not having a good result will have the rebution of living a lowly life .
Even so may cause u to be looked down and even despised .
Leaving a good life is having a prefect life with no losing sign and always having a good post.Not bothering what people say u can make the right choices.
Even then u can achieve more than people and get a better goal.
Just like u aimed for a tree u would fall on the ground .If you aimed for the sky u would have fall to the trees for even dash up to the sky.
Theres what the goal is for.
Having a family is like a loanshark.
Signing a contract of taking and giving.
When you are young they take care of you.
Now that you are old enough ,everything they did you must pay back.
Just like owe money pay money.But int his case its different sometimes people take it for granted nothing in this world is free. Taking anything for granted is absolutely wrong .
Face the reality everything you do you skipped will have some price to pay and something to gain. Being something saves something ruining something you would lose something.
Dont you guys understand no matter what we do we must complete it fully and make everything you did being filled with achievements and gratitude .Helping people means a bouns point .
If you count the life you have lived to what great achievemetn you have done .
What score did you get?

♥ 4:45 AM

Hey people please la.
I know that raffles is the person whom signed the treaty but if only farquhar came alone he would be the founder father of Singapore. why does this goverment acknowledge his as our founder?when he signed the treaty british did not gain control of our country yet and he just left singapore and when to bencoolen what the heck.
And just leaving farquhar alone to solve all the things like fighting,murder adn robbery . Why cant raffle himself stayed at singapore and not leave ?even without raffles theres john crawfurd . He signed the treaty which made singapore a british possession. So without raffles there is still farquhar and crawfurd .
Just tagg on my tagg box of your own ideas thanks:D

♥ 1:16 AM

Stop it!I cant take it!All this shit things !
Stop it i cant concentrate . Dont look at me i hate it!
I cant become like last time cant! im trying cant you see i cant i cant!
fuck being normal is easy but getting back to last time is impossible
what is done is done! theres no way to undo it.
Stop wasting time and just get on ! What the hell are you thinking?
Fuck.

♥ 2:27 AM

Its really hard to like someone and not like someone.
Admiring people is one thing liking people is another.
Admiring people is like liking them for their talents and characters.
But like is different .It so special that even if you like someone you dont even notice.
Its like sometimes he didnt come to a place then unknoingly you will feel sad and when he did you come to that place you would just so happy.
But in such a young age its better to study hard than going into relationships.
It may affect your studies if you like fall out of love or whatever.
Even friendship. It better not to get too close to anyone.
Not for you guys bah but thats my thing hahas.
Its good to have true friend .You can share you sorrows with them.
When you are sad they can comfort you .Being alone is just sitting in a corner crying.
Without people noticing .Sometimes you just think making people happy or making yourself happy?
Making other people happy is like being and acting happy do that they can feel your happiness thus that can even cover your sadness not letting people know or care.
Do peope know how i feel deep within me?
Hardly any to count in one hand.

♥ 5:42 AM