Im still thinking about the badminton thing... Haix felt really bad towards them..
Althought they didnt tell me but i could have just forced myself to go. Rther than making it all even more awkward... Haix and it seems that we are becoming more further apart? Last time every sat we used to have so much fun but because of my stupid mood they keep trying to find topics with me. Stupid me im good at crapping what. Just put my stupid mood aside la! But it seems that they didnt have any feelings about it.. Well i guess its only me? Haix... Althought we are talking like normal, everything doesnt feels right.

♥ 3:14 AM

Haix tiredness came over me.. Today met chemistry teacher really couldnt concentrate.. Tomorrow meeting Social studies teacher.. Thursday band-.- why havent band end? Its taking up my studies time-.- And friday i have to meet 2 or 3 teachers like history phyics and maybe chemistry again... Really cant take it le... but how? this is only the SA2. What if Nlevel time reach? Wouldnt I be much stresser than now? Tired.... go bathe then study again. night...

♥ 4:02 AM

Band is falling. People quiting because of people dont appreciate them. What are this days the kids thinking? Why cant they endure hardhships? No idea... Quiting is the easiest way of eascaping right? Seriously no brains. So the rest of the secondary school life , when seeing band members how? Try to not let themselves be seen? Like the stupipd guy? FUcking no brains children . grow up will they? If slapping them would wake them up should i? Ha. no use to those freaking brainless people.

♥ 4:40 AM

Today after band went to eat with faith and yunhan hmm somehow i feel heavy and bored? When i see faith's face she seems to like know something? Hmmm not sure what. But she quite understand my mood . When im not really in a good mood . I thought about telling them about this blog . But never mind bah , lets just let this blog be my only secret hehes .
The ensemble practice today as tiring . I wonder why today my so called chalk? which is embroucre was so weak today . Just practicing awhile , my upper lips were swollen. hmmm didnt practice lo haix. Must practice more le . Thursday got exchange... Jiayou~!

Just now went to lan then went to watch cinema. Smurfs haha damn cute and nice . Oh my smurf . HAHAHHA ok la nothing much to say . tired but have to study i just did and hour studying just now. Finish typing this must continue studying again. Hmm finished physics. But how to start with chemistry? haix... Hard to study that But if i study history now wah... seriously will fall asleep sia... haix. still must decide. Nvm shall not waste my time typing le ok! nights myself and study had for the SA1 or SA2 in one months time. 3oct!!!

♥ 10:08 AM

Just said that to her. Actually got a lot to say but only said a few. Very nervous. When i type the first sentence , She offline but suddenly she on back. She saw what i wrote so she on back right. She accepted it but there is still and awkwardness . Haix . As long as it ends well..

♥ 7:25 AM

Ahhhhh!! why arent that person onlining??!!? the longer I wait ,I have lesser courage to say what i wanted to say! Ahhhhh!!! Feeling confused. Ahhhhh courage!!! Come to me!

♥ 6:51 AM

I didn't want to post it on face book. It feels like everybody will know. Now that hardly anyone is using this is the best to be a dairy right. I feel really heavy now. Tons and tons of different emotions running through my body.. Talking just now. that person seems to keep pointing out my faults. Why wont that person understand? I know I'm wrong but I'm a person i also have feelings. Keep saying I'm wrong aren't she wrong in anyway? That person keep saying like that person didn't have any faults. I have to right to say I'm pissed in my place but Cant she just understand me??? I have pride not asking is my fault but cant she just give me a better to get off? By saying that sentence , I tolded that person i didn't know how to react in that position and my heart freaked out.. And i felt that my blood gust up to my head and anger gets over me. Not respecting? I explained it right. Just a simple thing of changing something need to be asked. And even asked what was the answer? U decide yourself. Isn't that always what that person says? Since they are the same kind they would sure help each other one right? I said not to let that person see but how could she say all that if that person wast beside? I really dread seeing the faces of them. Makes me feel so Arch. I don't know any words that could describe this. I talked to that person so to wanting to end this freaking thing but what happen? I was being shot in the face. I REALLY REGRETTED IT. REGRET KNOWING THEM. REGRET LIKING THEM. REGRET WANTED TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM. If i left them alone and not bothering them. All would be nothing. Bringing hideous moments. I don't want to go that place ever. But Saturday is what I always been looking forward to without that , what can i look forward to? Don't know.. Ever once in awhile God always makes me think. What am I looking forward to in life and what are the lessons learnt. To God: Are you helping me to get mature faster? Or are you just bringing horror? I don't get it! Why do i like a friend but in the end it always be hatred???!

Someone said to me : Anne you don't have friends in your class? Why are you always alone? Hearing this i felt. Why am i alone? And WHY DO ALL MY FRIENDS LEFT ME!?!? I DO NT GET IT! I WANT A FRIEND TO STAY BY ME! BUT EITHER THEY ARE LEAVING SCHOOL OR just not with me. People said that they envy me. For being a freedom with no worries of friendship breaking and stuff.. I once had that but why not now. 3years ago. primary six quarrelled didn't talk ever since. Felt regret but what can I do.


I'm now thinking should i post this or not. What if someone sees this? Is being alone good? Is having tons of friends good? What is the purpose in life? All i can say is a good start a bad ending. a bad start a bad ending. And life? What you work hard for in the end? Grow old and die. What can you do with money? bring it into your coffin? A high position what about it? 60 to 70 years old all gone. The so called retire all gone. So now its the fact right. So lesson what is it for? Growing mature what is it for? Do anything gets what it strives for??? Nothing.

♥ 9:39 AM