I didn't want to post it on face book. It feels like everybody will know. Now that hardly anyone is using this is the best to be a dairy right. I feel really heavy now. Tons and tons of different emotions running through my body.. Talking just now. that person seems to keep pointing out my faults. Why wont that person understand? I know I'm wrong but I'm a person i also have feelings. Keep saying I'm wrong aren't she wrong in anyway? That person keep saying like that person didn't have any faults. I have to right to say I'm pissed in my place but Cant she just understand me??? I have pride not asking is my fault but cant she just give me a better to get off? By saying that sentence , I tolded that person i didn't know how to react in that position and my heart freaked out.. And i felt that my blood gust up to my head and anger gets over me. Not respecting? I explained it right. Just a simple thing of changing something need to be asked. And even asked what was the answer? U decide yourself. Isn't that always what that person says? Since they are the same kind they would sure help each other one right? I said not to let that person see but how could she say all that if that person wast beside? I really dread seeing the faces of them. Makes me feel so Arch. I don't know any words that could describe this. I talked to that person so to wanting to end this freaking thing but what happen? I was being shot in the face. I REALLY REGRETTED IT. REGRET KNOWING THEM. REGRET LIKING THEM. REGRET WANTED TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEM. If i left them alone and not bothering them. All would be nothing. Bringing hideous moments. I don't want to go that place ever. But Saturday is what I always been looking forward to without that , what can i look forward to? Don't know.. Ever once in awhile God always makes me think. What am I looking forward to in life and what are the lessons learnt. To God: Are you helping me to get mature faster? Or are you just bringing horror? I don't get it! Why do i like a friend but in the end it always be hatred???!

Someone said to me : Anne you don't have friends in your class? Why are you always alone? Hearing this i felt. Why am i alone? And WHY DO ALL MY FRIENDS LEFT ME!?!? I DO NT GET IT! I WANT A FRIEND TO STAY BY ME! BUT EITHER THEY ARE LEAVING SCHOOL OR just not with me. People said that they envy me. For being a freedom with no worries of friendship breaking and stuff.. I once had that but why not now. 3years ago. primary six quarrelled didn't talk ever since. Felt regret but what can I do.


I'm now thinking should i post this or not. What if someone sees this? Is being alone good? Is having tons of friends good? What is the purpose in life? All i can say is a good start a bad ending. a bad start a bad ending. And life? What you work hard for in the end? Grow old and die. What can you do with money? bring it into your coffin? A high position what about it? 60 to 70 years old all gone. The so called retire all gone. So now its the fact right. So lesson what is it for? Growing mature what is it for? Do anything gets what it strives for??? Nothing.

♥ 9:39 AM